So Movember (the month formerly known as November) is upon us.

On October 31st, humans with both an X and a Y chromosome up and down the country took to their sinks, razor blade in hand, and shaved their fuzzy faces. Emerging fresh-faced and boylike, they took a last longing glance at their smooth upper lip and bode it farewell, for the next 30 days will see a testosterone-fuelled conquest to grow the most manly lip-fringe possible.

Since its humble beginnings down under (Australia, not someone’s trouser area), Movember has raised hundreds of millions for prostate cancer, generating $79.3 million last year alone. Mo Bros (the ones growing the tash) and Mo Sistas (the ones encouraged to ‘help out’, presumably by stroking the upper lip of males in a downwards manner in order to stimulate hair follicles) the world over unite for the very worthy cause of ‘Changing the face of men’s health’, and the faces of our male colleagues and friends along with it. 

Prostate cancer is a scarily unrecognised killer, and therefore requires all the attention a mass murderer of this scale deserves. And yet, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Mo Bros, whilst of course supporting such a worthy cause, aren’t solely in it for charitable purposes. Instead, what Movember has ingeniously tapped into is the repressed urge within every post-pubescent male to prove they are capable of sprouting a biscuit duster mightier than their neighbour’s. A challenge if by some strange turn of events their neighbour is Brian Blessed or Santa Claus, but one they are prepared to take nonetheless.

Ever since the first 14 year old boy in Year 9 proudly waggled his hair-adorned lip at his classmates, a ripple of broken voices and middle-of-face hair growth was sent out, eliciting a competition of pure rugged manliness ever since. Movember provides the ultimate occasion for men to regress to their 14 year old counterparts, and even those in corporate environments are given the nod to furnish their faces, because remember – it’s all in the name of charity. 



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